September 2019 Dharma Talk (Amida Leicester)

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    What ego constructs do others try to attach to my vulnerable heart?

    What ego constructs do I try to attach to my vulnerable heart?

    What ego constructs do others and I feel compelled to try to attach to my vulnerable heart?

    As the ocean of Light floods this vulnerable heart, can all these ego constructs become as shadows?

     

    Such shadows are ephemeral; they are not the product of the solid, impenetrable and permanent.

    Such shadows can be like stained glass, casting the coloured light of the ocean of the unborn into the temple of this vulnerable heart.

     

    Sometimes I hear voices insisting that reality must be made black and white, solid shadow or pure light. Traces of karma are not allowed in such a world and are to be eradicated by force.

    The light shines everywhere. It is not inhibited by anything. Does insistence on a world of black and white come from a fear that the light is feeble and can only shine through the application of totalitarian force? Where is faith in the power of the Light, then?

    Should I listen to such voices and allow them to form a shell around this vulnerable heart, any faith in the Light I might have had would be similarly imperilled. It seems that maintaining faith in the Light is dependent on remaining open and vulnerable in the face of demands to put on armour, close down and attack shadows with weapons of mass-destruction.

    I find staying open and vulnerable extremely challenging. I am easily discouraged by insistent voices – voices raised to protect the self but which can only protect the self by attacking others.

    Staying silent can be taken as collusion or collaboration – I can be co-opted through fearful silence into projects which go against my wish to stay open and vulnerable. I can enter into situations which strengthen the hard shell of ego in the wake of those who swagger in, taking advantage of the gains which they have taken, while they take advantage of my tacit support and loss of ethical integrity.

    It is an impossible situation for me to deal with alone, which is why the Light keeps calling to me, over and over – Namo Amida Bu – let go into my all-compassionate embrace.

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