Q: I’m conscious of the heavy weight of my karma, and have been preoccupied with wanting to fix past wrongs etc.
A: I understand the need to try and get things right, or purify ones negative karma. In this Buddhist tradition we begin with the understanding that our karma is endless, and that by our own power we cannot fix the situation. Through relying on the other power of the Buddha, we are transformed, in this lifetime or the next.
We understand that the Buddha loves us just as we are. It is possible to receive the blessing of the Buddha without fixing anything at all. When we experiment with this idea we discover that we were illuminated all along, we had simply closed our eyes to that truth. This can be hard to believe for the parts of us that are convinced we must change in order to be okay, and yet it is true. The Buddha does not need us to change, in order to love us.
As our faith begins to grow in this, the need to work hard to be different or fix things can slowly begin to relax, trusting that it is possible to land in the light of the Buddha. Paradoxically as we begin to trust that this is true, the possibility for real change appears – when we stop fighting ourselves, we are more likely to grow and flourish.